Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Bonding and Attachment!?

A lot of people have asked me "How do you know if bonding is going well? When will it be okay for Ana to be with other people?"

I wish it were that simple...

The big concern about children like Ana from an orphanage situation is that they are used to trusting nobody but themselves. Our desire for Ana is that she will know that she is loved, and that we will give her everything she needs. No longer does she need to use her cute wiles to make sure that she will be kept alive...

We have definitely been "cocooning"; nobody but Mama or Papa has ever fed, clothed, bathed, or held her since she has been home. Our family and friends have been great about staying at arm's length, as hard as that is for some of them ;-)

I have seen both good and bad responses from Ana in different situations.

Here's a bad one; at the Dr.s office Ana always goes into major cute mode. We walk in, she crows and giggles whenever she sees a medical professional. It's like she's saying "notice me! I am cute!" She will sometimes arch away from me to get a better look at whatever nice nurse just entered the room. Honestly, I am glad that she does happy attention getting behaviors rather than freaking out, but I would be happiest if she knew she didn't have to be over the top cute to survive.

Here's a good one. My parents still have four kids living at home; teenagers down to age 8. It's a very exciting active place, and the boys really like going there to play. We went there today, and Ana was obviously happy to be there, but didn't try to attract anyone with her cuteness. She sat on my lap for a while and then laid on the floor and watched all the action; very content and just enjoying events like a kid.

I hope this helps you to have an idea  of how bonding is going and what sort of cues we are looking for!

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are moderated. If you wish to contact us privately, please mention that in your comment and it will not be published.