Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Reflections

We are excited to adopt.  More importantly, we are committed to adopting Ana (and now we're approved!).

However, today has been a beneficial and reflective day for me, and perhaps it can be one for you, too.

Read this, if you have the time: http://www.heartlightministries.org/blogs/markgregston/adoption-issues/

We are blessed to have the story of the Mussers so honestly shared - we assent that it will be hard (yes, yes, nod head) very hard to care for Ana.  That's like sitting in camp and saying yes, yes, very difficult to summit Everest, yes.  We'll learn exactly how difficult when we get there.  The real issue is that this adoption, as all adoptions, must be single-minded in its focus on the good of the adopted child. 

Insofar as any readers of this blog are considering an adoption, the checks and cautions raised by Mr. Gregston are extremely pointed and important.  If you have not encountered Pound Pup Legacy yet, you can go there for a very cold dose of the evils that are done under the banner of adoption.  It is hard.

Did our home-study process screen us adequately?  I think so, but I'm not in an unbiased position to answer that question, but it is obvious that homestudies are not foolproof, and there are (apparently) enough bad agencies out there.  They did not do a hard-drive examination of all our computers, which I would do in their shoes.

Is our US agency reliable?  Our US adoption agency gets decent marks, though with one post-placement fatality from a Utah couple (meaning that our US agency did NOT perform the home study, rather a Utah agency did that; the woman pleaded guilty to recklessness out of frustration). 

Are we honestly and solely concerned with the well-being of Ana?  To this I can only answer "yes".   Having examined and re-examined the question, I am brought back to the conclusion that we should adopt Ana because we can take care of her better than the baby-house in P*.  This carries a lot of freight along with it - we should continue to live near good children's medical care, I should continue to earn a good living, we should keep ourselves physically and mentally fit to deal with the strains of care, we need to take extra care of our marriage and bio-kids to prepare all of us for the intense strain (yes, yes, nod head, intense indeed - but we'll learn when we get there).  But I suspect that, like marriage, having children, church office, or any other major "plunge", if you're not scared, you're not paying attention.  You can be informed and scared at the same time.  It's blithe ignorance that is truly dangerous.

Anyhow, I do not wish to dishearten anyone who is considering adoption, but remember that hot iron stays soft until it's dunked in cold water.  Temper yourself, let God temper you, and then do the next right thing.

1 comment:

  1. I will try to read Mr. Gregston's post when time opens here in Raleigh, but your sober and considered remarks are very well taken. I do pray for you, Virginia, Ivan and Gibbs, as well as godly counsel from the helping agencies. Love you.

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