You in?

I have been recently convicted that I need to spend more time studying the Bible.

I have been slowly chugging through the OT, reading a chapter of Proverbs a day, but I wanted to do something more.

So, I have resolved to copy the book of Psalms (by hand, into a notebook) before January 1, 2015. It might be crazy, but on the plus side, even if I fail in my resolution, however much progress I make will be good for me! 

Who wants to join me? I find that these things are easier and more fun with companionship, so if you want to join me in my resolution, let me know! There aren't really any rules, I have been doing two a day and I am trusting God to provide for Psalm 119 day (maybe I will be on a plane going to BLG !?)

You in?

(I am aware that many of the readers of my blog have many more children and responsibilities than I, and I don't presume to tell you how to use your time! I am also aware, however, than many of these readers are even more acutely aware of the importance and power of the Word of God than I, so I think they will accept my challenge in the right spirit.)

Happy Anniversary, Love!

It's been a good 7 years, and always getting better.

Praise God for that!

Thanks for being a wonderful husband and papa! It suits you very well,  and I am so excited to see what God has in store for us in the future.

A Papa's Response

(See Mama's post below)

And I am thankful to have the best wife in the whole world.  Not because of what she does or who she is in herself, but because of whom she has been made in Christ.  She is the best wife because she loves her family tremendously, and loves Christ more.  And this is of God's good grace.

Q.1 What is your only comfort in life and death?                                                                

A. That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by His Holy Spirit He also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for Him.

    What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
    “For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
        we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
    No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
    -Romans 8:31-39 

And yes, I miss Ana very much.  But I must also trust that God can care for her through the orphanage just as he will care for her through our family.  And it is not mine to begrudge his timing.

PS - Mama's breakfast cookies, for which she was heating up the oven with the unfortunate yogurt inside, were delicious.  Cookies for breakfast are good for you when they are nuts, dates, apricots, and a bit of  honey.

I am a failure (but Christ has conquered)

Since Papa has been home, we have really felt the hole in our family. When we are all gathered together, we are not all there. We won't be all together until Ana has joined us!

Since Papa has been home, Satan has been trying to convince me that I am not good enough, and God has been reminding me to rely on Him.

It seems like every time I walk into the kitchen I cause some kind of disaster; today I nearly burned down the kitchen by turning on the oven while the towel-wrapped slow cooker was still incubating yogurt--by God's grace I noticed before open flames broke out. The slow cooker should still be usable, it is just a little fuzzy now in the places where the towel fused to it. Yesterday I managed to throw smoothie all over the kitchen while trying to cook something with Porgies on my hip... 

Because I am a sinful person, I am dying to blame someone else for all this, but nobody else is to blame. 

I feel like my life is a series of smaller disasters making up a larger disaster.

But...

"who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?”

Romans 9:20

My life may look disastrous (at least to me) but it is not a disaster. It is in the hand of God from beginning to end, and it is accomplishing His purposes!

Also, I feel inadequate because I AM inadequate. If I think that I can be a perfect mom, I am wrong. If I think that I can do any kind of good on my own strength, I am wrong about that too.

God is my strength, and it is by His grace alone that I can do anything worthwhile.

So I will never be good enough.  I will never be organized enough, or flexible enough. I will always end the day wishing that I had been a better mom, or a better wife, or a better friend. 

It is absolutely my comfort that God will always provide for all that He wishes to accomplish in me, my family, and His church, and I can trust him that foolishly burned towels fit in His perfect plan.

No matter how complicated, busy, or painful my life becomes, I will always have rest in Christ who has accomplished perfection on my behalf.

To Him be all praise and glory!

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

God is Good

Smooth travel to Frankfurt.  Ze Germans.  They don't let a German-made safety razor blade through... not even a Merkur Super-Platinum Rostfrei.  If the loss of my razor blade is the worst misfortune to befall me, I have nothing to complain of.  With the possible exception of euro-denominated overpriced kaffe. But it was good, so I concede that front as well.

I am sad to not be visiting Ana today.  That is not a complaint,  simply a fact.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Final thoughts

It has been a singular week.  Ana gave a happy squeal when she saw me this morning, which delighted her papa.  We talked and sang and said psalms and played with her rabbit and owl and reviewed her family photo book many times.  I think her baba does show it to her.  She likes the photo of mama (reaching out her hand to brush it), and small Porgies is interesting to her.  I think she knows the papa photo is me, and I asked her to remember me.  She likes her owl - when I put it away at the end of the visit, I believe she was looking for it (arching up her back to crane her head around, and lifting her right shoulder to an extent that made me think she might be capable of rolling if she really meant to, or may become capable with a bit of work).  She had good grip on my fingers, which was encouraging.  Yesterday afternoon I did feel her wiggle her toes (which are all bunched up) as I gave her a foot massage.  It was hard to say goodbye.

Now we are rounding up my fellow-travellers to drive back to S.  It has been a good week, but indeed a singular one in my life.  Now to pray for speedy courts and second travel dates.  Thank you all for your support in prayer.  Jesus Christ has conquered his and our enemies, and reigns at the right hand of the Father.  Thus, we can wait patiently and trust his timing and plan, for it will be right. 

Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?  - Gen. 18:25

And they were astonished beyond measure, saying "He has done all things well. He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak!" Mk. 7:37

Two of my favorite verses.

Now for travel.  Aptly derived from "travail".

Last Visit

Today I will get to see Ana for the last time in a while.  It has been a good week, and I will miss her very much while we wait the second trip.  It has been good to get to know her, see her personality come through, sing to her, say psalms with her (though I cannot say them very well in her language, so we use English), and tell her about America, about Jesus, about mama, Tater, and small Porgies.  She has a book of fotos, a little bunny like her brothers have, and a little owl like her brothers have.  Hers does not have a name yet.  Maybe Tater will make one for it when she comes home (he is the namer-of-owls, his is Owlet, his brother's is Mr. Whoo-whoo).  On to the orphanage.